What Do Mothers Need?

Motherhood Activists and Scholars Speak out on Maternal Empowerment for the 21st Century

Edited by Andrea O’Reilly

This volume, developed from the public forum “What Do Mothers Need?” and hosted by the Motherhood Initiative for Research and Community Involvement (MIRCI) in 2012, examines what mothers need in twenty-first century North Amer- ican society in order to adequately care for their children while living full and pur- poseful lives. The contributors to the volume include representatives from various motherhood organizations—Ontario/Canadian Native Women’s Association, Hip Mama, National Association of Mother Centres, Mothers & More, Mocha Moms, Welfare Warriors—as well as the leading motherhood scholars including Paula Ca- plan, Amber Kinser, Barbara Katz Rothman, Pamela Stone, and Judith Warner. The twenty-six chapters, organized into six sections—“Redefining Motherhood,” “Empowering Mothers,” “Mothers, Children and Families: Health and Well-Being,” “Mothers, Education and Social Change,” “Mothers, Partners and Parenting,” and “Mothers and Work”—explore what changes are needed in public/social policy, health, education, the workplace, maternal support/advocacy, and the family in or- der to afford full and lasting gender equity for mothers in the twenty-first century.

The themes and issues explored are many: midwifery, intensive mothering, food allergies, workplace flexibility, family meals, childcare, education, popular culture, “opting out,” maternal empowerment, fathers, maternal activism, poverty, shared parenting, and work/life balance, and are examined from a wide range of per- spectives including Aboriginal, Latina, African American/Canadian, military, single, poor, young, at-home, waged mothers, as well as mothers with disabilities. The volume argues that what is needed is a new “cultural conversation” on, and “a reframing” of, motherhood; one that is appreciative of the diversity of mothers’ lived experiences, attentive to the specific social context of twenty-first century motherhood, and audacious enough to imagine radical and transformative ways to mother and be mothered.This volume, developed from the public forum “What Do Mothers Need?” and hosted by the Motherhood Initiative for Research and Com- munity Involvement (MIRCI) in 2012, examines what mothers need in twenty-first century North American society in order to adequately care for their children while living full and purposeful lives.

The contributors to the volume include representatives from various motherhood organizations—Ontario/Canadian Native Women’s Association, Hip Mama, National Association of Mother Centres, Mothers & More, Mocha Moms, Welfare Warriors—as well as the leading motherhood scholars in- cluding Paula Caplan, Amber Kinser, Barbara Katz Rothman, Pamela Stone, and Judith Warner. The twenty-six chapters, organized into six sections—“Redefining Motherhood,” “Empowering Mothers,” “Mothers, Children and Families: Health and Well-Being,” “Mothers, Education and Social Change,” “Mothers, Partners and Par- enting,” and “Mothers and Work”—explore what changes are needed in public/ social policy, health, education, the workplace, maternal support/advocacy, and the family in order to afford full and lasting gender equity for mothers in the twenty-first century.

Contents

Acknowledgements

Introduction: What Do Mothers Need?–Andrea O’Reilly

1. Redefining Motherhood

Moms Under Surveillance: Noticing and Challenging the Idea of “The Good Mother”–Fiona Joy Green

Rebelling Against “Mom”: Finding Fulfillment Beyond the Media’s Myths of Motherhood–Estelle Sobel Erasmus

What Mothers Need: For Parenting to Get Under Control–Margaret K. Nelson

Bait and Switch: Moving on from “Mommy Madness”–Judith Warner

Outlaw(ing) Motherhood: A Theory and Politic of Maternal Empowerment for the 21st Century–Andrea O’Reilly

Matroreform: Reforming Mothering / Reforming Motherhood–Gina Wong

2. Empowering Mothers

Mothers and the Military: What It’s Like and How It Needs to Be–Paula J. Caplan

What More Do You People Want? The Unique Needs of Aboriginal Mothers in a Modern Context–Dawn Memee Lavell-Harvard

What Do Mothers Need? Money–Pat Gowens

What Do South Asian Mothers Need? Negotiating Culture, Family and Selfhood–Jasjit K. Sangha

3. Mothers, Family, Children and Families: Health and Well-Being

What Do Mothers Need? Midwives–Barbara Katz Rothman

DisAbled Mothers and the 21st Century: Finding Empowerment through Activism–Jewelles Smith

Toward a Feminist Analysis of Motherhood, Family, and Food Allergies–Heather Hewett

4. Mothers, Education and Social Change

(Cheesy) Mami Issues and Representations–Melissa Maldonado-Salcedo

 Influencing Evolution Through an Evolving Revolution–Lorri P. Slepian and Laurie N. Sylla

In the Scholarly Way: Marking Generations of Inroads to Empowered Indigenous Mothering–Jennifer Brant and Kim Anderson

Ripe for Revolution–Gwen Lewis

5. Mothers, Partners and Parenting

Shared Parenting and Challenges for Maternal Autonomy–Susan B. Boyd

What do Mothers Need? Not to Give up on Their Own Ambitions and Persistence in Securing Partner Participation in Family Life–D. Lynn O’Brien Hallstein

Beyond Baby Mama Drama: What Black Single Mothers Expect from the Fathers of their Children–Wanda Thomas Bernard

“Blurred Lines and Grey Flecks”: Breadwinning Mothers, Caregiving Fathers, and a Dilemma of Gender “Equality” in Care–Andrea Doucet

6. Mothers and Work

Thoughts on the Implications of “Opting Out” for Motherhood and Mothers’ Movements–Pamela Stone

Mothers on a Tightrope: Finding Balance with Everything on the Line–Kuae Kelch Mattox

At the Core of the Work/Life Balance Myth: Motherhood and Family Dinners–Amber E. Kinser

What Mothers and Early Childhood Educators Need, Nut Don’t Always Get: Competing(?) Voices on Childcare in Changing Rural Economies–Patrizia Albanese, Megan Butryn, Louisa Hawkins, and Courtney Manion 

What Mothers Want: Workplace Flexibility–Jocelyn Crowley

About the Author

Andrea O’Reilly is  Full Professor in the School of Women’s Studies at York University. She is author/editor of eighteen books on Mothering/ Motherhood including Mother Outlaws: Theories and Practices of Empowered Mothering. O’Reilly is the founder, director of the Motherhood Initiative for Research and Community Involvement (MIRCI) (formerly the Association for Research on Mothering 1998-2010).